December

a holiday letter
an edition of two

tasting notes: clip art, family, maybe a little TMI, the joyful melancholy of an ending


Hello friends,

It's been a few years since we've sent out a holiday letter and we thought it was past time to reconnect with friends we've seen and those we haven't, to tell you what we've been up to.

GRANT

Grant retired earlier this year, which has been both more and less of a change than we expected. He's having plenty of fun-that-looks-like-work, he says -- still heading out to the barn most mornings, but freed to create for himself. There's rumor of a show in the city next fall although we won't count our chickens, as he's also planning to have a knee replacement next summer. All those years of skiing and dirt bike riding really did a number on him! He's still cooking up a storm as well and this past November, he catered a literary dinner as a fundraiser for the new high school -- Something Wicked This Way Comes!! How fitting!!

LANEY

Laney continues to consult for various organizations across the country, although she's beginning to long for retirement (Grant makes it look so fun) or at least a bit less work-travel. She has also continued to steer Grant's mother's literary estate, including the well-recieved adaptation of Hark! that came out this past Memorial Day. She and Grant got to go to the red carpet in Los Angeles, which was a real thrill! She's also very happy out in her garden, tending to the weeds and the seeds.

ZOE

Zoe married Jocelyn, the love of her life, this past spring in a beautiful ceremony at an Inn near Acadia National Park. They have been splitting their time between Boston and Portland (Maine) but have recently decided that they are going to go full-time in Maine! Giving up that city life comes surprisingly easy, she says, and they're looking forward to giving their sweet pup Pekoe a proper yard to run around in. She'll also be joining the Park Trust at Acadia and continues to run marathons around the world.

CHARLIE

Charlie has been out there in Los Angeles for the last five years, where he has developed a love of weekend hikes, days at the beach, and the Dodgers! He's been working in game design as well as writing in his spare time -- although we aren't supposed to mention that, despite how proud we are that one of his stories was featured in this year's Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy, an honor with which his grandmother in particular would've been very pleased. He remains, and we're quoting here, "a resolute spinster."

The biggest update is saved for last: we've decided to sell our house. This is a decision not made lightly, for all that it has been a long time coming. Many of you know that Grant was born and raised in this house, it's the house where we raised Zoe and Charlie, and it's so much more besides. It's a hell of a house! But new chapters are opening for the Wright Family and we want to be closer to the kids, we want to be able to travel, we want to not worry about plowing that driveway!!

We have already had an offer from a young couple who we think will fit right in -- we've pre-paid for their first few nights at the Flag Stop, to help ease things along.

We will of course keep you updated! Hope you have a lovely holiday season and wishing all the most wondrous things for your new year.

Love,

Laney and Grant (and Zoe and Charlie)

November

a selection of Tarot cards
an edition of ten

tasting notes: the mysteries of the universe, short days and cold nights, asking questions of siblings


October

the first page of a lost story
an edition of four

tasting notes: carbon copies, dusty paper, Halloween night, the monster down the street


Char —

Definitely never heard of this story!

Only found this first page, no date.

Can you go by the house and dig around?

This fell out of a book from the 80s, so start

there but really anything goes. One more

story, wouldn’t that be something?

Also, just me or does this remind you of the

things kids used to say about that house on

Camelot Ct?

Love

Z

August

a local newspaper
an edition of eleven

tasting notes: back-to-school shopping, Tarot cards, ‘La Ronde’, the very-real (albeit different) Bazaar


The headline in the local paper read: THE BAZAAR IS COMING.

The article was short, heavy on details -- location, timing -- and sparing on the details of what might be available there. That, people provided for each other.

Grant has visited the Bazaar once before, the last time it'd come through Bradbury County. It had stayed for nearly three weeks then, long enough for he and his friends -- none of them older than thirteen at the time -- to spiritually claim it as their communal hang-out spot. After school (for it had arrived in April, along with the flowers) they would ride their bikes down to the old Harrison place, where the Bazaar had set up tents and outdoor structures seemingly overnight. They'd throw down their bikes and set off in search of treats, of frights (but not too frightening), of stories to swap or dares to embrace. The last night that the Bazaar was there, as some of the sellers had already begun to vacate, leaving strange gaping holes where previously there had been busy shelves and busier people, had been a momentous night for Grant: he got his first kiss (Brittany Meyer) and got nearly knocked out in his first fight (Billy Meyer, Brittany's big brother).

The thought of the Bazaar being back quickened his blood the same way tackling Billy had, the same way kissing Brittany had. He wonders where they are now...

Laney has only heard about the Bazaar -- mostly from Grant, but it'd be hard not to hear about it in her line of work. She's skeptical about it, which is funny considering the volume of strange and supernatural things about which she's utterly blasé. It's the mythology that concerns her: that it shows up on no discernible schedule, that it offers just about anything a person could need so long as they can find it (both the Bazaar itself and the item in question), that it turns visitors into starry-eyed children again.

Maybe that last bit is just her husband.

But Laney has a need that perhaps the Bazaar can fulfill, because she's tried just about everything else. See, when she puts her hands into the soil, she can no longer feel the land they live on. She is losing touch with what grounds her and so she clips out the story in the newspaper and magnets it to the fridge...

Charlie, Grant and Laney's son, overhears his parents talking about the Bazaar as they're making dinner. He asks about it, noticing both his mother's slight dismissive eye-roll and his father's glowing eyebrow lift. He reads the article on the fridge as they tell him that they'll all go on opening day and a sense of wonder opens in his chest.

This is before he's come into his own power and he doesn't yet understand the limitations, the changes, the things that will shift for him once that happens. He only sees the rest of his family, capable of things that are both completely astonishing every time they happen and treated as totally ordinary by the family members doing them. This place, this repository of wonder, might be just the thing to push him forward, make him feel like he fits in...

Zoe, Charlie's older sister, is 14 and she wishes she hadn't heard about the Bazaar from Charlie. He runs into her room, blabbering on about some places that their father called magical and their mother called questionable, or something? Ugh.

She kicks him out of her room and then follows him, down to the computer room, where she kicks him out of the computer chair ("You can play Carmen Sandiego later") and dials up the Internet. It's the early days of search engines and she turns up nothing much and so turns to AOL Instant Messenger, where her friend Mary is online and waiting and soon they're lost in conversation and only just before she logs off does she mention the Bazaar, in case Mary's heard about it...

Mary has not heard about the Bazaar, but this isn't surprising because Mary hasn't heard about much. It's not that she's sheltered, exactly, although she is sheltered and her mother is a bit of a tyrant about it -- particularly as Mary enters puberty. She's technically been banned from seeing Zoe (Mary's mother, blessedly, doesn't understand the Internet) after a sleep-over that spring had resulted in many questions from Mary about the birds and the bees because, it turned out, the girls had watched Cruel Intentions. Zoe hadn't seen the problem, although she told Mary that her parents had given her a stern talking-to -- but now Mary was left on the outside, unsure of where to get adequate information about not only the things happening to her body but those happening to her feelings too.

But this Bazaar that Zoe mentioned, it sounds like the kind of place a person can get answers...

Mary's mother Catherine has been aware of the Bazaar's impending arrival for several weeks -- she volunteers to take minutes at the monthly county council meetings -- and she has been completely stymied in her attempts to ensure it never comes. She wrote letters, she made speeches, she even tried what she thought was a bribe to one of the councilmen; nothing worked.

And now? Now her precious baby, her dear sweet little girl, is asking about this coming den of sin and devil worship! It must, she thinks, be the influence of that terrible friend of hers, Zoe. That whole family is up to dark doings, she has long believed.

Well, she won't stand for it. She tells Mary this as though it is for her own good -- even says that, that it's for her own good -- as she forbids her from going to the Bazaar at any point. She herself will, of course, make a visit at the opening to see just how evil the place really is...

The bribe Catherine offered to the county councilman, an older man called Jack, was understood to be a bribe, which is to say she got that much right. But Jack has long accepted all kinds of bribes -- money, favors, baked goods -- and done very little with them because he is the kind of person who believes that all good things can and will come to him, that he will always just by virtue of being alive, acquire these offerings. He doesn't think he's special, per se; it's just what people do and there's some part of him that thinks that they must do it to everyone else, too. So why should he interfere?

He's monologuing about this again at the Flag Stop, the secret-ish townie bar, and his words are largely indecipherable at this point because of the liquor that Annalee, the bartender, has been plying him with...

Annalee, bartender at the Flag Stop, has been waiting on the Bazaar's arrival for something like years now. She's, yes, bribed the councilmen (not just Jack but all of them) to make sure that it arrives but also she knows that there's nothing that they can really do but get out of the way and let it come in. Still, that's enough: she's being shaken down by the deputy mayor and she needs to put a stop to it. She knows, from the last several times she's visited the Bazaar -- she's traveled far and wide, around not just the country but the world, when a particular need has pressed on her soul (or other parts of her body, she thinks with a snort) -- that there's a particular booth in the back third of the Bazaar, past the long alley of card games and kiddie pools, where she'll be able to find a witch of her old acquaintance who'll be able to work up something that'll put the deputy mayor to rights...

The deputy mayor has also been waiting for the Bazaar, although his appointment is more fated than he realizes. In all his years of double-dealing (which are not too many, as he's still a relatively young man, but his years have been over-stuffed with dirty deeds), he's crossed plenty of people -- but twice, now, has he crossed a witch and it isn't Annalee who will get him in the end. There is a booth at the Bazaar where a lone figure sits, under an innocuous sign that reads "Assistance" and the deputy mayor has an appointment for just after the Bazaar opens for business. He believes that he'll be collecting the payoff on getting the Bazaar into the old lot in town, but really, he'll be the one collected...

Lettie, the new bookseller at the bookshop in the little town of Allantide, on the edge of Bradbury County, has only a few regrets in her life and she's pretty sure that visiting the Bazaar years ago (in another state, in another life) isn't one of them. The fact that it has followed her here, or at least that's how she perceives it, is a bit troubling, but she also knows that it must be because of the deal she struck on that long-ago visit.

Long-ago? She snorts at herself. It wasn't even a decade ago; she's barely into her thirties. Still, she knows that some arrangement of the universe has brought her to this town where that asshole has conspired to grab power -- and because of the woman sleeping next to her, and because of this bookshop that she loved from the moment she stepped inside. She wants to wake the woman, so that they aren't late, but she waits another minute, just because...

Ms. Chizmar (as she's known to Charlie and Zoe and Mary and their parents) would rather have stayed in the patch of sun in Lettie's bed, would've even been fine with moving out of the patch of sun if she'd still been allowed to stay in bed, but here they are, heading to the Bazaar.

It will be their first time out in public together as a couple, if you don't count drinks at the Flag Stop or a few group gatherings where they'd naturally gravitated towards one another. She's curious, sure, about the Bazaar but she's ready to see it through the eyes of her new lover and so she doesn't really care what's out there because it will be full of wonder because how could it not be, with a hand to hold...

They gather in the parking lot, on a sunny August Saturday -- people from all over the county, and even beyond. There are people up from the city, and even a few folks who drove for hours from that other city to the east. Grant and Laney wave to Catherine, who sits in her car with a scowl, cataloguing everyone who is arriving for this horrible event; Ms. Chizmar calls out a hello to Zoe and Charlie, who reply in with a unified monotonous "Hi Ms. Chizmar" before scampering away to find friends; Annalee and Lettie are chatting about the weather while the deputy mayor and Councilman Jack sip large iced coffees and murmur about development deals.

They've all come here for something, whether they are thinking about it or not, whether they'll come away with it or not, whether the 'something' even matters or not. The Bazaar calls to a certain kind of person, offering anything for a price and a sense of adventure for free. The metal gate slides up and the doors swing open and the crowd slowly moves forward, stepping inside one by one or two by two. 



The Bazaar is open.
Get there while you can.

 

July

IMG_4047.JPG
IMG_4044.JPG

a care package with tea and homemade granola
an edition of one

tasting notes: hot days, herbal tea, late-night drinks, morning snacks


Zoe fell in love and called her mother.
It was the middle of summer. It was hot, where she was -- not much hotter, in a literal sense, than where she'd grown up, but a spiritually different heat. It parched her, drained the liquid right out of her, and every time she wanted to tell this woman that she loved her, the words withered away and she could only croak.
This was doubly problematic because they'd been brought together -- by fate, by chance, by the wonders of the casting department -- to do a two-hander, set to open in just two weeks. She'd managed to support her vocal chords with slippery elm lozenges and salt water gargles and zinc, but it wouldn't last.
"You want a love potion?" her mother asked her with a smirk Zoe could hear.
"No! Ugh, I knew you'd be like this."
"Oh, darling, it's just so rare that I get to tease you any longer." A pause, something muffled in the background. "Your father says I ought to keep it up, so he can stay your favorite."
"Mom," Zoe complained.
"Okay, okay: tell me what you need, I think I can whip something up."
So Zoe explained. She explained how she felt when she saw her co-star, the joy they had and the easy camaraderie. She told her mother about how performing was fine -- but after each long day, as they'd drink and chat at the bar and then, before long, in one of their rooms, and... Zoe could feel the nervousness rising in her and sapping her voice.
"I was like that with your father," her mother admitted, after Zoe was finished. "Happened differently, but..."
Zoe was shocked. "Wait, really? I would've thought Dad was the tongue-tied one."
"Oh, he was. Always so awkward." She began to tell one of the age-old stories of Their Courtship and Zoe interrupted her. "Right, sorry. So it sounds like you need something for your throat. I'll ship it UPS tomorrow, watch your mailbox. Love you, bunny."
And then she was gone. Zoe texted, asking for clarification, but nothing was forthcoming.
This was on a Thursday, so there were two more days of rehearsal and excruciating sore throat and then the blessed day of rest on Sunday.
A knock on Zoe's door woke her from an afternoon nap and the brown-suited UPS man smiled as he handed her the package. "Have a nice day," he said and she smiled back at him.
Inside was a black bag with an herbal mixture that assaulted Zoe's sinuses. Only then did she read the note: "Don't sniff too close and DO NOT CHEW. Just steep it -- will help your throat. Which should help the other thing. Love, Mom."
There was also a jar of granola, which Zoe assumed was homemade. She smiled at the simple joy of getting a care package, even now, even grown as she was.
And then she brewed some tea.
She did, after all, have rehearsal tomorrow.

April

april2.jpg

a work in progress
an edition of five

tasting notes: visiting friends, flutter and wow, ink-stained hands, springtime


 

1.

It was late one spring afternoon when they arrived.

From a squat black car that reminded Charlie of a Mary Poppins bag came three figures, and looking down at the driveway from the attic window, he turned to his sister and said, "But none of them looks like a crone."

For weeks, their parents had been talking about this visit. "Friends of your father's, from college," their mother had told them when they asked her for clarity.

"Does that mean they aren't also your friends?" Zoe asked.

"Mm, does it, Laney?" their father teased and their mother swatted at him with an oven mitt. They understood well enough what that meant.

Neither of the children wanted to ask the real question, though. They knew about magic -- this was after the discovery in the attic, that day when Charlie had seen Zoe put the glass skull back together -- but the idea of witches enchanted and confused and, to be honest, frightened them. Witches were things in storybooks, found on the backs of brooms or behind terrible cauldrons. They didn't understand how a witch could be something worth letting into their home, let alone three of them.

But these three also didn't exactly look like any kind of witches they'd ever heard of.

They looked, obvious aesthetic differences aside, more or less like their parents. Which, understandably, raised some questions.

2.

Charlie stepped carefully over the creaky step, the one three steps from the top, and peered down the hallway. The third floor was the floor for guests and the three witches had been given rooms up here. Zoe was distracting their parents so he could do some reconnaissance.

The door to the room he liked to think of as his grandmere's room was still closed. Or perhaps newly closed? He'd come back to it.

Four other rooms up here, and he could hear someone inside the Sun Room (so-named for its yellow wallpaper, which he had always found unnerving). He pushed his little body like a spy, or so he thought, bending quietly to peer inside the open door.

He saw the male witch there, eyes closed, grooving to a song in his earbuds. The male witch had such smooth skin, he thought, never before having thought about such things and feeling a little confused as to why he did now.

He waited until the male witch's back was turned to dart past the threshold of the door.

Down the hall, the third door on the right began to open and he panicked. He hadn't thought to look at the bathroom! Stupid, stupid, stupid; he should've checked!

Quickly he darted to the side and through the half-open door of the Library Room (confusing as there was a plain-old library downstairs, but nobody'd asked his opinion) before he could even check if anyone was in there.

"Well hello," said another of the witches.

They stared at each other, a distinct lack of comprehension between them, like two civilizations making first contact. Charlie felt his chest constrict -- was it a spell? The witch was smiling haphazardly, one corner of their mouth much higher than the other.

He mustered whatever speed he had left and ran, nearly colliding with the third witch in the hallway. "Late for the opera," he heard her say to the second witch, and they both cackled (because that's how witches laughed, so if they were laughing, it must be a cackle) and the sound rang down the staircase after him.

3.

Dinner was to be an affair.

The smells began to percolate through the house late, later than they would've started eating on a normal night. Zoe and Charlie had been told that they would eat with the grownups tonight, an honor their parents assumed would be taken as a gift. And to be fair, Zoe was curious: how did witches eat? Would they have strange or different food? Would she have to eat what they ate -- and, way back there in her mind, she wondered if she might like it?

Her mother wore more rings today than she normally did, and they clacked against her wine glass as she gently kept the beat of the song on the stereo in the other room. "Mom," Zoe tried again. "It seems like witches get bad press."

"That's one way to put it."

"So why do people want to be witches?"

A cutting glance over the rim of that wine glass. Her mother was always so perceptive, so keenly aware of what Zoe meant even when she herself was unsure. "Things aren't always so cut and dried, heart. And if you--"

A timer went off and her mother swung away from the counter, tracing an arc across the kitchen. "Why don't you go tell everyone that dinner is ready, hmm?"

She slouched into the living room, where her father and the male witch were looking through vinyl records. "Dinnertime," she nearly whispered, but they heard her well enough.

The male witch said, "I'll go help Laney. I think the others are upstairs."

"And where'd Charlie get to, I wonder?" added her dad.

"Probably hiding," she said boldly, with an insouciance she picked up from the novels she was reading or perhaps some TV series about a precocious near-teen. It made her father laugh, which had been the point, and she glowed under the light of the smile.

When they'd all assembled at the big table -- their father had added leaves just so everyone would fit -- the siblings shot glances at one another, their own secret language to counteract the seemingly-secret language being spoken by the grown-ups. Zoe in particular couldn't stop thinking that their words were like spells, like magic she could wield if only she understood it better.

And when Charlie, unable to keep it together, asked the witches which of them was the matron and which was the crone and everyone burst into laughter, she was left feeling more confused than ever.

4.

"Psst, wake up, wake up!"

"Humhwunh?"

"Shh, be quiet and come with me."

"But where? Why? It's the middle of the night!"

"No it isn't, you went to bed like an hour ago."

"Okay but mom and dad said we--"

"They won't know, now come on."

Zoe dragged her little brother from his bedroom and down the hall, ignoring his continued groggy protestations.

She pushed through the door of their parents' room like it wasn't a major violation, a threshold crossing that Charlie couldn't yet conceive and that Zoe had only just discovered wasn't so powerful as all that. Her grip on his wrist kept him by her side and they crossed quickly past the big brass bed and towards the big round window that looked out on the yard.

"Stay quiet but I don't think they can see us," she told him, and then climbed up on the hope chest for a better view. With no better option, Charlie followed.

Out in the yard, around a roaring open fire, they saw their parents and the witches with glasses of something thick, dark, poured from labelless bottles. Someone said something that caused someone, one of the witches, to shriek and slap their leg violently.

They saw their father do some strange mincing dance, leaping around the roaring flame and singing -- singing? their father could sing?! -- in a surprisingly smooth baritone. They could not make out the words, and the song fell apart in moments. 

One of the witches picked up something -- a branch? a wand? -- and made a stirring motion and began to make a screeching sound, one that the rest of the figures around the fire, even their parents, began to mimic in an ungodly chorus. 

 "It must be some kind of witch curse," Charlie murmured. "Should we go out and save them?"

"No, you dummy. If we go outside, we'll get caught in the spell too." But she wasn't so sure -- not about the spell part, anyway. She understood, in some fundamental way, that she was not yet meant to be a part of what happened out there but that perhaps she would, someday...

But the question felt too large, too difficult to fully understand in this moment -- she was only ten after all. “But I don’t think it is a spell,” she added softly.

Charlie frowned at her, deciding in that moment that this must all be a dream and that he was in fact sleepwalking or something else cool that he could tell his friends at school on Monday. “I’m going back to bed now, dream-Zoe. You can come tuck me in if you’d like.”

Zoe looked at him, watched him yawn, watched his brain already twisting away from this and decided that she'd put him back to bed and then... then, she had some reading to do.

5.

The next morning, as often happened on weekends, the kids descended to roam the house half-feral until the grown-ups awoke.

They were surprised, crossing the kitchen, to discover that they were not in fact the first ones up. Charlie flinched and even Zoe couldn't contain a gasp when the back door slid open -- not the kitchen door through which their father left for work every day and that they were not to use without his permission, but the door out onto the deck. One of the witches came inside, sweat dripping from their headband. "Oh, morning, urchins," they said. "Anybody else awake yet?"

Zoe shook her head.

"Word. Do you know where the coffee is?"

She felt Charlie squeezing her hand, trying to pull her away. She shook off her brother's grip and stepped forward, into the kitchen, where she confidently showed off the coffee and the various devices they had to brew it.

"Your brother's scared of me," the witch said softly.

"No, he's just scared of witches," Zoe replied.

A quirked eyebrow at this. "And am I not a witch?"

Zoe had been thinking about this, had been considering it until she fell asleep the night before and all morning since the sun had woken her up. "Witches are supposed to come in threes, I thought."

The witch laughed, joined by another of their coven who'd just come down the stairs. "Oh, right, Charlie's question about the matron and the crone." This newcomer, the male witch, smiled like a cat stretching in the sun. "As we established, I'm obviously the maiden..."

"Lol," said the first witch, without shame. "What I was going to say, urchins, is that covens can be any size you'd like. Ours is four, for example."

Zoe frowned, pointedly doing the math. "But there are only three of you."

"Your dad, sweetheart. He's the fourth."

"Is my dad a witch?" asked Charlie, voice trembling, unable to hide now for the fear that shook him. He looked up at Zoe. “It wasn’t a dream, last night?”

The two witches looked at each other, out of their respective depths. "We probably should--"

"Yeah, I don't--"

"--get someone else to--"

"--know that we should be--"

A heavy tread down the stairs, one that Zoe and Charlie knew intimately. Their father came around the corner in a patched cardigan, a t-shirt, sweatpants. "Oh good, you found the coffee."

The witches looked at Grant, who looked at his children, who looked at him, who looked back at the witches.

"Dad, are you a witch?" Charlie asked in a rush.

"Well sure," he replied, a second too hasty. Only then did he realize, did he see the look of fear and confusion on his son's face. He knelt down, trying to keep his heart steady as his son quailed before him. "You know there's nothing wrong with witches, buddy, don't you?"

"I... I..." and Charlie began to cry, because, no, he didn't know. But these visitors to his home had seemed so nice, even despite what he'd seen the night before, the things he couldn't understand yet.

And Zoe felt a few tears forming on her face as well, for even though she wanted to believe that she too could be a witch and that that could be something powerful to want to be, she was at that precarious age where the wrong word or moment could slam any number of doors that ought to stay joyfully open.

One of the witches, bright and wholesome like an elementary school teacher, took a chance: "Witching is just living your own power, babe."

The other witch rolled their eyes. "I mean, it’s a little bit more than that. A little less cheesy, too."

The third witch, having just come downstairs, said, "Oh no did you crones scare the children?" and everyone laughed a little bit and even Charlie, still mostly confused, cracked a smile.

"I was reading last night," Zoe said, "while you guys were... doing whatever it was you were doing out there around the fire--"

A look passed quickly around the adults, including an 'oops' face from Grant.

"--and I found this book about witches being part of a community, being helpful and connected to nature and... that's what I want to be. So does that mean I can be a witch?"

"And me too!" shouted Charlie through a snot bubble, which made everyone laugh a bit more.

"Sure does," said Grant, to general agreement.

The morning began to spin on again, this crisis averted. The siblings clambered onto stools and watched the coven of four laughing and joking and moving with almost choreographed grace around the kitchen. They could see, now, that these witches had some kind of power just like their parents -- just like they themselves did. 

And when their mother came downstairs, they were eager to tell her that they now understood, that they could now too be witches.

And she smiled at them and said, "Well of course. Just no wine yet.”

March

2021 March read.jpg

a shuffleable story
an edition of seven

tasting notes: Oulipo/WILD YEAR, fake bands, cryptids, fresh air, gravel roads


SHUFFLE BEFORE READING

(this story is meant to be read, and re-read, in any order.)


The family steps through the chrome doors and out of the diner, the sounds of 50s classics cutting off suddenly as the vestibule smooshes shut behind them.
Their footsteps scratch and scuffle across the gravel lot. Laney has her arm around her daughter, traces of milkshake-induced laughter still around their mouths. Grant sees his son mimicking his posture and smiles.
There's a ding and a flash as the car unlocks at their approach. Their tight unit splits, four people to four doors.
Something else splits as they pull out onto the two-lane highway that stretches quietly through the forest and between the mountains, the one that takes them just about everywhere they need to go. On this night, although they will pass no other travelers, the roads are busy with their past and present selves.

 

 

There is a bright moon tonight, and she is drunk on starlight and bourbon and the man sitting beside her.
His hands are firmly at ten-and-two and he takes the turns of the road with enough speed to feel the wind but slow enough to admit how careful he's being -- for they've both had their share, of bourbon and starlight and one another.
She lifts her head, feeling the spring air washing down over her.
He turns down the radio so they can hear the sound of a world that only contains the two of them, and the trees.
So this, then, is what it feels like to go home.


"You know," Charlie's father says to him while he awkwardly navigates the switchbacks, "when you're drive out here at night, you'll want to be careful of hitchhikers."
"Real ones?" Charlie asks, a bead of sweat on his brow as he slows around one final turn.
"Everything's real, if you want to get technical about it."
Charlie braves a glare at his father before returning his strict attention to the matter at hand. The headlights roll out the road before them, like a writer inventing things as they go along.


 

Zoe keeps glancing towards the sky, looking for something in between the branches of the trees. She's looking for the stars, the old fear from her childhood having come roaring back all these years later: that she will look up and find herself under different stars. It's not the stars themselves that she fears, but rather the dark intelligence that would responsible for such a shift.
As she approaches the intersection near the school, she can see by the bright moon that there's a break in the trees up ahead.
Her palms grow sweaty on the steering wheel.

 

He's seen things dart out of the trees, their furtive movements reminding him of kids on dares.

He knows these aren't kids, or at least they aren't human kids. Possibly somebody's kids, he thinks as he taps the brakes and flashes his high-beams at some something. The first time he brought Laney out here, when she didn't panic, that was when he knew. His mother, waiting at home, beat him to the punch of course, saying, "make yourself at home, dear" as though this was something she said to all the girls and not the most shocking admission of acceptance he'd ever heard.

He wonders, as he rushes to the hospital with Laney breathing heavy through the contractions in the backseat, about all the ways they'll surprise their kid in the years to come.


The curve of the road, the steady back-and-forth, starts to put her to sleep. It has been a long week -- aren't they all, these days? -- and she leans her head against the door. Her husband reaches over, squeezes her hand, and she faintly squeezes it back. The kids are in the back, dreaming their schemes (or vice versa).

All would be well, except that she knows what's waiting for her on the other end of a dream. She fights to stay in this liminal space, at least til the car gets home.

 

 

Static on the radio, headed home from Zoe's school play. They play a game, the four of them, listening for snatches of music and then trying to sing along -- points awarded for either the real song (Laney does a terrific Neko Case, Zoe a surprisingly good Boyfight) or something entirely made up (Charlie has them all laughing so hard that Grant almost needs to pull over).

 

 

With each tick of the turn signal, the cracked highway of infinite nows is kintsugied back into the same old two-lane road that takes them just about everywhere they need to go. They pull onto their quiet street, past Bradbury Farm and the Preston house.

And even after the car is off, settling into the spring night air next to their strange and rambling old house, the four of them sit there as though waiting to make sure the spell has passed. They look at one another, making sure they're all still there, all still them.

February

all photos.jpg

a letter + thirteen photographs
an edition of eleven

tasting notes: fictional novels, ancient evil, older siblings, a friend’s handwriting turned into a typefont


Dear Little Brother --

Greetings from across the pond! Let's get the formalities out of the way first: school is going well? You haven't gained a Freshman Fifteen? You're not doing something dumb like pledging a fraternity or majoring in Econ? (Seriously, I do want to know about these things so don't mistake my haste for a lack of interest. I expect full updates in your next dispatch.)

Okay, to business. Grandmere's archives are predictably immense but I'm only a few days in and I've found something. You've already riffled ahead, I'm sure -- all of these photos are from the archive, and I think they're proof that (at least some) of her stories were based in truth. We knew about the magic, but the actual stories??

I chose these because I know how much you love Death of the Small Man and, well… you'll see.

I've got a long few days ahead to wrap all this up before catching the train south. Not sure what my address will be, but I'll make sure to let you know before you send your reply, which you will do soon. In a proper letter, please and thank you.

Love,

Z

 
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Van Dale house.jpeg

1 -- The house on Van Dale. Do you remember when we drove past it, on that trip? You might've been too young. That colonnaded porch off the side looks out to the graveyard next door. Not really part of the story so much as a spot of family history. You should show Dad this one.

2 -- At first, I thought this was mis-filed -- looked to me like New Orleans? Garden District? Anyway: now I'm thinking it's actually McClintock Street. If you look closely, you can see a group of figures in black at the end of the street. Could be the Hillstrom Gang? Could also just be normal people, I suppose.

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3 -- This one was odd: it was wrapped in a note that said, among other things, "I've always been fond of this ghost" and it was signed by somebody called Catherine. I left the note in the file, as it was a bit too racy for comfort when considering one's grandparents, but anyway I think this must be the Cat from Chapter Three. No clue about the ghost. (Can ghosts be photographed?)

4 -- This is where things started to click for me. Look on the back: 'Wren, with fairy.' Obviously the mind goes to Cottingley, but again, if the reality matches the story, then this might actually be a real photograph of a fae. Curiously, there were supposed to be six more in a series here, but this was the only one in the sleeve.

Wren w fairies.jpeg
Catalina.jpeg

5 -- This is a real boat! Check it out: the S.S. Catalina. Built in the 20s as a passenger ferry between LA and Santa Catalina, used in the war, then back to passenger ferry. Don't know who this guy is... could be the west-coast contact?

6 -- The palm trees make me think this is Pessl House, in Pasadena. There's a decent chance it's been demolished but I wouldn't hate it if you had a look around, though. (I'm assuming you've got at least some townie friends by now, or somebody who's having house parties at their rich parents' place?)

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7 -- The fireplace. Just looking at it gives me shivers. And that sooty smudge on the photo itself? Eek. (PS in Grandmere's notes, there's a triple underlined exhortation to not look at the photo under anything other than bright light. I didn't risk it, suggest you don't either.)

8 -- The family portrait! These people were real, isn't that astounding! One thing I found strange: the story, of course, mentions this photo and the five faces. And there are some notes here from Grandmere mentioning five faces. But as I look at it now, I only see four.

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Luzern.jpeg

9 -- Lucerne Station. I bet you a hundred pennies that the guy hiding his face, walking towards the camera? A hundred pennies says that's Otto Atticus. Also, think about this for a second: this was pre-war, we know, but not that much pre-war. Some of those people in the background? Probably Nazis. I know that's a weird thing to say but, I dunno, it feels like an important reminder to me that if this story actually happened that this was all going on in the background.

10 -- My next stop is to head this way, actually. I'm excited to visit, to go by the river. I imagine it isn't quite so picturesque these days, but I think I can likely stay in the Chateau for at least a night. I'd love to get a room like this one, where I can look out at the steeple under the moonlight -- watching, carefully, for any black tentacles...

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11 -- Greta Lacey looks exactly like I thought she would and I'm wild about it. The baggy clothes, the knit cap, the "sunken oak" face? Never would've thought, after everything in the novel, that she'd be so... I don't know, ordinary as to go fishing? I guess they had to eat, but you don't really think about that stuff mid-story, you know? (PS so weird that some of these are printed as post-cards, but apparently it's something to do with the drug store on Van Dale where Grandfather had them developed? Hilarious.)

12 -- The Small Man. From maybe four or five years before the book, I think? Doesn't look like much, does he? And yet… I don't know, something about the eyes. Do you feel it too? That kind of power, even knowing what our family can do... It scares me a little to think that he was real, that he really killed all those people. I'm still in shock, I think, at actually seeing him.

Small Man.jpeg
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13 -- That garret window, on the right? That's the room, that's the one. I wonder if she took this before or after? A person wants to guess 'before' but, then, how could she know Otto would fall, that it would all end there? Spooky either way, I suppose.

January

January.jpg

a short story in a half-fold chapbook, with linocut cover art
an edition of seven

tasting notes: garnet red, snow, sand, the ineffable, family


It was a morning early in the new year when my father shook me from sleep with a finger over his lips. By the faint light that tiptoed in from the hallway, I could see that he was already dressed in sweater and snow-pant. "Dress warm," he confirmed, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving me to it.

The rest of the house was asleep as I made my way downstairs. Even the dog continued to doze by the embers of the fireplace — although the cat was, predictably, nowhere to be found. I met my father in the kitchen, where he had a rough breakfast ready — hash, toast, a sliced apple. My portion was as much a reduced mirror of his own as I was, generally, of him.

He offered me a small cup of coffee with a wink and although I, at that age, found the drink untenably bitter, I smiled and sipped it all the same. "Just us today," he told me, and other than that, we ate in silence.

Once we had wolfed our food and were fully suited and booted, he unlocked the kitchen door and led me out into the pre-dawn cold. I thought we might be heading to his workshop, a large barn-like building set some ways back from the house. It was rare that my sister or I were invited or allowed to visit and I admit, in that moment as we walked past the heavy door, to some disappointment that this day was not to be one of those special days.

I looked up at it as we passed but the lights were off and the door was securely latched and there was no sign of the activity I usually associated with the place, not even a stir from my father's approach.

Down beyond the edge of the workshop, past the bottoming out of the low hill on which our house stood, we crossed into the forest just as the sun began to glow in the sky behind us.

The snow from the end-of-year storm was still thick on the ground, despite several sunny days, and more than once I placed a foot and found myself swallowed to the waist. Laughing each time, my father would grab my arms and pull me from the powder, swinging me forward onto the faint path before us.

There were blazes on the trees as we walked and I knew the turns of the trail from regular summer hikes but I had never walked these ways in the winter, never considered that such a thing might be worth doing. Now, I found the familiar landscape turned alien and strange, wiped clean to be remade again in the warmer days to come.

Ahead of us, in the blue shade quickly being erased by the dawn, I saw naked trees shift and sway like giant mantises stepping carefully through the snow. Ice crinkled underfoot as we crossed what had once been a steady flowing stream.

A tremble ahead of us caused my father to put out a hand and stop our steady forward motion, just in time for three deer to come bounding over a boulder in full sprint. One of them turned and saw me and it looked as confused as I felt I must've. Both of us, united in the question of why on earth we were out from our warm homes on this chill morning.

My father murmured something I didn't catch, or know how to understand, as he pulled a handful of sand from his pocket and tossed it in front of us. Whatever followed the deer — and something did — flashed past us in a blur, moving with speed and weight enough to shake the trunks of the nearby pines.

After a few breaths, my father nodded that we could continue on. "Only a little farther, but we have to move quick," he said, his long legs barely holding back in their stride as he turned us from the trail into the unpathed wood.

I had refrained from asking where we were going, pleased as I was to be out on an adventure with only my father. My curiosity compounded as we threaded our way through drifts untouched; my father did not waste time, he did not waste words, he did not waste. Everything had its purpose, so what would this journey’s purpose be? 

The object drew my eye as soon as we crested the rise, even before my father drew my attention to it. How strangely it stood, this statue, its color and its position out of place amongst the dull browns and bright whites of the winter wood.

We were about twenty feet away when the object, the statue, lit up with such splendor that the clouds of breath that had trailed around my head dissipated altogether. What's more, I heard the same thing happen to my father.

We stood, marveling, in breathless silence.

The statue was solid garnet, deep red in color, and stood about the height I would've been if I were sat on my father's shoulders. Smooth curves and confusing entwinements gave it the appearance of motion, even though it was quite still. The rising sun, I guessed, had caused it to glow — except the glow turned inward, as though something at the statue's core was consuming the light faster than it could be replenished.

New facets of the impossible shape were revealed to us as the sun continued its steady climb over the horizon and it seemed that all the world had fallen away, leaving only my father and I and these woods and this statue, only what we could see or feel — and that even that could be questioned.

"Ready now," my father murmured and I tensed by his side, unsure of what I was meant to be readying for. The glow in the statue before us rose still further, filling my heart like a bubble ballooning in my chest. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

And then, much like a bubble indeed, it was gone.

No implosion, no pop of phasing out, no cosmic terror of an object that ceased to be; it was just gone, leaving us looking at only the ordinary once again.

My father looked at his watch and nodded. He pointed behind us, into the sky, and I turned to see that the sun had finally cleared its final hurdle into the sky. "Sun's up," he said with a smile. I believe I saw a tear in his eye, a sight almost as shocking as the beauty of that strange statue.

"What...?" I asked.

"I have no doubt you'll find all kinds of answers when we get home," he said, turning to me and kneeling down to my level. "I don't mean to dismiss your question, but I'll tell you instead what my mother once told me: understanding will be there whenever you find it, but until then, it can be worth living in the unknowing if that unknowing is itself something beautiful.”

It was such a striking thought, all the more so that it came from my father, who embodied to me the full pursuit of knowing. 

I nodded, after a time, and he nodded back.

Then, with a weighty and reassuring pat on the shoulder — a moment of grounding, one I surely needed — he stood and led me back out of the woods.